Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1) You have ADHD, you are MR, you have hit me, and permanently bruised me, You have said so many terrible things to me, yet, You werent supposed to be as smart as you are, you werent supposed to be able to talk or ever be potty trained,I'm the one you call when your excited about something, the one you confide in, and your only sister, I do love you..even if I did leave you.

2) You are finally pregnant, and married, you have have everything you have wanted, but are you actually happy now?

3) You're a bitch, you ruined everything with me all in as little as one week, and you couldnt even stop at that, you have to contact him and it most always coincides with about the time that he has gotten over you and focus' on me. STOP TALKING TO HIM!

4) You are like a second mom to me, and he is like a father, but it hurts me whenever i see him yell at you or put you down, because, I know your not happy already and that makes it even worse, He's too hardcore, your too much of a sweetheart, but you would never divorce, especially now that you have the little girl you've always wanted. He abuses you, mentally, i just wish you could see it, and would stick up for yourself. I love you.

5) You were nice when i first met you, but then people started to like me more than you, and comparing the two of us, and you became a snobby bitch to me. I moved near you and discovered one of your friends shared my birthday with me..and that was ok, because i basically made her my friend as well and she liked me even more. But you crossed the line when you had them induce you the day before my birthday, so that you made sure you had you baby on the same day as mine and hers..

6) Thank you, for counting me in as one of the family when I'm not, and for making your own decision of me instead of going off other peoples, It made you me like you soooo much more than anyone else i have met out here, minus one, you remind me of the good parts of my mom, and you even have the same name. You are a special person.

7) I havent known you very long, and if you read this..than you do actually do as you say (which suprises me..i ask so much of you). I know more about you than you think I do, and it was just by pure research and learning.t I didnt specifically look for you..tho you did tell me where to get the hint, and i was looking further into the topics to learn more about them so i could analyze you... that was..until i actually found you..I keep trying to get you to tell me because, i wanna see if you trust me enough, even tho i already know. I've known since about the beginning of this year..i just don't say anything because i'm scared it will mess up our relationship, and i don't think i could mentally or emotionally handle that, even tho your more a role model/friend than anything. Thank you for always being there...even when your not..and your away on vacation (now i'm scared if you do actually read this :/)

8) you are only 4 right now, and even if i did tell you, you wouldn't understand, but i get told all the time how much you are like me, and I thank God for that every time, because then i know, that there is somebody else in our family that is going to be so much smarter than everyone else, that everyone will love because of how sweet and adorable you are, but will hate you because of how truthful and outspoken you are, I just want you to know that I am always here for you, even when the rest of the family forgets you,and of course i love you...I'm your sissy (and you don't know how happy it makes me that you call me sissy, even when your mom says to call me Melinda)

9) I can never thank you enough for everything you did, for takeing me specifically when noone else wanted me, for loving me when no one else did, and for sticking by me through everything i wanted and didnt want. Thanks for raising me and working 2 sometimes 3 jobs just to make sure i had almost everything I wanted and that my brother did too at the same time. and for letting me have a little more than him sometimes just because, For letting me pretend i was asleep until he fell asleep so i could get up and just feel like a grown up because i could stay up as late as you. For being such an inspiration and making me want to help people, and to care with all my heart, even tho it sometimes isnt the best. For letting me be a kid whenever i absolutely needed it, but yet teaching me valuable lessons as i became an adult. For loveing me even when i did betray your trust, and for always taking me back, and making me feel like I'm the most special person in the world. I love you mom and you have never been anything else to me.

10) NEVER leave my life! I honestly don't think i could manage without you in it some way shape or form. You basically are everything that completes me mixed with some of myself. I hope you never leave me, and that even if we dont progress further..I'm still the one your with..I know your views...but i also know. hat you have changed and realized you need me just like i need you, but now it goes even deeper, I'm scared you will realize that and will want to leave because of your views, I don't want to lose you ever. I love you..and you know it. It is no shocker, but i think you love me too..but are too scared to admit it. there is so much to say to you, that i could sit and type all night, and still not tell you it all. Just know 3 things, I love You, you are one of the smartest people i know, and i cant live without you.

Nine things about yourself.

1) I love to read, and wish i had a library, but i don't. (just bought Looking For Alaska by John Green and waiting on it to arrive)

2) I tend to clean when bored.

3) I lie and say i don't know why i bite my nails..when in reality, i know i bite then because i am constantly thinking, and i'm constantly nervous and anxious. there is not a minute that i am awake, that i am not a nervous wreck.

4) I want to travel the world

5) I have this blog..in the hopes that someone will come across it and like it, but i know in reality, thats a very slim chance

6) I am a Nerdfighter.(DFTBA)

7) I want to be a singer..and think i actually could have a chance..if i took some voice lessons.

8) I also want to be an artist, but never have any inspiration..even tho i can draw a bit.

9) I have only been kissed by one guy..and he refuses to kiss me anymore..because i sucked that bad :/

Eight ways to win your heart.

1) Be yourself with me

2) Don't be embarrassed of me

3) Don't tell me I'm hot tell me i'm beauiful and pretty, but not constantly, then i'll think your lying.

4) care

5) be genuine

6) have a sense of humor

7) need to be nutured

8) Be nerdy

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1) Does anyone actually love/miss me

2) I'm bored

3) I wanna sing

4) Does he like her more than me

5) I hope i make friends soon

6) God, how can people be so stupid?

7) I wish i could be famous for writing, drawing or singing.

Six things you wish you’d never done.

1) I

2) Don't

3) Regret

4) Anything

5) I've

6) Done

Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1) Brother Phillip

2) person I love/best friend-Troy

3) mom

4) Webster

5) My aunt La-Deana

Four turn offs.

1) self hate

2) Bragging a lot.

3) tattoos and piercings

4) no manners

Three turn ons.

1) chest hair

2) sensitivity

3) semi strong

Two smileys that describe your life right now.

1) :]

2) :[

One confession.

1) I love Troy